elevator etiquette

Proper elevator deportment in Thailand can be summed up by a few simple rules.

1. No elevator can move with fewer than ten people inside. If you are standing in an elevator containing fewer than ten people, you must press the "Extend Open" button and wait for a few more of your friends to arrive.

2. If a full elevator stops at your floor, you must not decide whether or not there is room for you until the door begins to close. When this happens, you must leap into the elevator.

3. Never, ever stand in the middle. No matter how many people are already in the elevator, and no matter how crowded the perimeter already is, you must find a space there.

4. If you are standing closest to the buttons, you are the de facto elevator operator. When the elevator stops, you must immediately press the "Open" button and hold it until everyone has exited. At this point, you can either press "Extend Open" (if fewer than ten people remain in the elevator) or "Close" (if there is already an elevator quorum). Note that after pressing "Close," you may choose immediately to start pounding on "Open" because through the closing door, you thought you saw your friend looking like maybe she would want to get on an elevator sometime this week.

5. The de facto elevator operator is also responsible for floor selection. No one else may press the buttons.

6. Don't stand near the buttons if you're not ready for this responsibility.

7. Of course there is room!

8. If the elevator is overloaded, the people standing near the door must each step in and out of the elevator in turn. The de facto elevator operator holds the "Open" button during this procedure; when he or she is satisfied with the configuration, he or she switches to "Close." The people stepping in and out have no control over the situation.