it's shagadelic, baby, yeah

When I was in the U.S. in the spring, Cousin gave me a great haircut. It was really good. And it took her about a minute and a half--I couldn't believe it! Anyway, when I got back to Thailand, I waited as long as I could before getting another trim, and when I did, I made sure to say "Same same. Only trim." The stylist did his best, and I wound up with a reasonably similar haircut.

Last night was the End of the Good Haircut.

It was getting very unkempt, and I needed to have a trim. Husband and I went to our usual hair salon (in a mall, of course). I must digress, now, to describe the process of getting a haircut in Thailand.

First your hair is washed. The chairs that dangle your head over the sink, though, are much more comfortable than in the U.S. The shampoo girls are trained in Thai massage, at least a little, and after the shampoo you get a little scalp and neck massage. Very nice. Lots of attention to comfort; no attempt, though, at heating the water. Yikes.

Then you are placed in a chair and given a glass of water and some Thai fashion magazines to peruse.

Fifteen minutes later, the haircut begins. Thai haircutting technique is really, really different from American haircutting. There is NEVER a time when the scissors cut straight across my hair--instead, the scissors are always angled so that the point is directly aiming at my head, and the person doing the cutting sort of stabs at my hair, producing a layered, jagged effect and only cutting about one hair at a time. This takes a while, as you might imagine. The scissors are followed up by the razor, which is used to further randomize the lengths of each individual hair. After the razor, more scissors, used on very small pinches of hair which the bestower of the haircut pulls up from various places on my head.

After this, there is a second shampooing. Usually it's just Husband who gets this; for me it's another period of waiting. A stylist once explained to me that Husband has to have his hair washed again "because his head is so big." Hmm. Well, my head must have grown, because last night I was treated to the dual shampooing as well.

After the washing, you're returned to the chair for more waiting. Then the stylist (not the same person who cuts the hair) shows up with a blow dryer and dries your hair. The haircut person (Cousin, what's the right word for a person who only cuts and doesn't shampoo, style, or dye?) returns for another round of stealth cutting (sneaking up on one hair at a time and poking at it with scissors or a razor). After this, the stylist comes back and puts styling wax in my hair.

The whole process takes about an hour and a half, and that's if they're not busy.

Anyway, back to the haircut I got last night.

The woman who was going to cut my hair asked me, "Same style?" I nodded vigorously and replied with both "Yes" and "Ka," thinking, "Oh please oh please just cut it like the guy last time, even though you think it's a weird kind of haircut and doesn't involve any razors or jabbing motions." Then she got to work.

Now, when I'm getting a haircut I have absolutely no idea what I look like. What I can see in the mirror with my glasses off is a pinkish blob that's probably my face, covered with a brownish blob that's almost certainly my hair. So every haircut is a surprise and an adventure. But this time, it didn't take me long to figure out that what she was doing to the brownish blob bore no resemblance at all to "Same style."

She gave me the Thai style deluxe.

On Thai people all of this random cutting and razoring actually looks good. It adds body; they look charming and pixielike; they've got a hip, tousled thing going on. Me? I look like a Muppet that got caught in a lawnmower. I don't know if it's my big pink round farang face, or if my hair is a different texture than that of most Thai people, or if the hairstylists I've seen are united in doing this to me on purpose, but every haircut I've gotten in Thailand has had the same vertical effect. For the first couple of weeks, until it grows out enough to calm down, I've got to plaster it with styling wax just to keep it from sticking straight up like some freakish cartoon.

Oh, Cousin, you'd make a killing cutting farang hair in Thailand!